The question here is WHY? WHY is it 3:38am and I'm awake!? WHY? I went to bed HOURS ago. I even woke up around 2:30am and realized my beautiful bride wasn't next to me. I lifted my head up and saw that the light was still on in the office. So, I stumbled out of bed to check on her and make sure she hadn't fallen asleep at the computer or anything like that. I asked if there was anything I could do to help her and she again said, "no, but thanks" and I made it back to bed. I tossed and turned since then, and the show's been running through my mind since!

We just found out that the Zoni Judges will be at our shows!! Sue Anne had to pick a cast to have adjudicated because you can't enter double cast shows so they force you to choose one of them. Anyway, we had NO IDEA they were coming. Last we heard, as mentioned above, they couldn't and wouldn't be coming. UGH! So now I'm FREAKED OUT because the show goes so fast, I'm afraid I'm going to mess up my songs or my dialogue or something horrible like that, or not have enough time to change clothes, or forget to help with a scene change or something. Ya know? So my mind has been spinning and spinning!

To add to all the stress, I have my Weight Watchers meeting to go to at 8:30am followed by the sing through for the summer MCCool show, The 12 Princesses, followed by Allyson's kids show for her school in which I'm the narrator for The Wild and Wacky Jungle Adventure (which I wrote thank you very much - but NEVER intended to be in!!), followed by MY OPENING NIGHT PERFORMANCE!!! There are TONS of people coming tomorrow night to see the show - lots of family, co-workers, and lots of friends!! So there'll be a lot of support and good energy and the laughs will come easily too which is nice, but there's all that added pressure too. Throw in my stage fright and it's enough to give me diahreah (I can never spell that word correctly! NEVER!), which by the way I get EVERY opening night!!

People don't believe me when I tell them I suffer from stage fright, but I do. Just because I kick serious ass, and I'm damn good at what I do doesn't mean it's easy for me to do.

**Warning: this is where the big ego comes in - filter through and you'll find the truth in here somewhere**

Seriously, I am rather good at this whole singing and acting thing. I've been in over 30 shows, and I've had leads in a lot of them. I love what I do, and I work incredibly hard at it as not to suck, and I've been pretty successful. NO, I haven't been cast in everything, and NO I haven't always had the lead, BUT I have a driving passion for it, and the will to succeed, and I think that's half the reason why it's working out so well for me.

Okay, moving right along. Tonight was "Cast B"s opening night in which Allyson's sister Jenny is in. Umm, may I just say that I LOVE HER!?!?! She is seriously SO GOOD!! WOW!! She's just such a joy to watch on stage. She has these amazingly electric blue eyes that just sparkle in the lights. Her acting is really good, and her singing is just delightful to listen to. I wish she were in our cast, but I really like our cast too. We had Mark and Jan over at our house last night for a run through of the show seeing as how we last got to run the show on Tuesday. Yep, three days off and then we open. So we thought it'd be a good idea to have them over and work it out once and it was a ton of fun. We got to know them better and we had good chat and it was a real bonding experience. I'm glad we did it!

Things are going to be great tomorrow. I just hope I'm not too tired, or sick. I've had this head cold for nearly a week now and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. So, I'm just praying I'll be able to get through tomorrow night because we have six days off before our next show (the following Saturday, May 22nd). A week off will do me good. So, I need my rest, so I'm going to pee and then hop back in to bed and stay there and force myself back to sleep. Only four hours until I have to be up for my meeting. Hmm, maybe I won't be going tomorrow afterall. Yeah, I need my rest. G'night everyone!

Until next time...

Written by Jere at 3:38 a.m.