Okay! Let's just say that my picks are #1 and #4! And, may I just say, "...you're just like Clay Aiken..."!?!?!?! Simon, are you on CRACK!?!?! What the HELL!?!?! NO, NO, NO, NO, and may I just say, NO!!

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! And did you all see the advertisement for LITTLE GROOM!?!?!?! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, and may I just say, NO!!! Friends, this is my fear factor right here! No way! I cannot and will not be watching this show! No way in hell! Not for a million dollars! I have SERIOUS midget issues! **Am I allowed to say, "midget"? Is that P.C.? If not, please forgive** Yeah, I can't deal, and this conversation is bringing back flashbacks of the commercial and I'm a bit overwhelmed at the whole thing, so let's move on shall we?

I have probably the worst headache this side of the Mississippi! It's one of those crazy tension headaches. I'm not sure if the midgets brought it on, but it's really hurtin' me! Yikes! I need some serious pain killers here!

Speaking of pain killers, did you all see that Michael J. Fox has returned to television? You may be asking yourself, "How does Michael J. Fox connect to pain killers?" Well little friend, he's all shaky and stuff so he takes medicine for it AND, he's on a hospital show which gives out pain killers. See, isn't that genius of me? Yeah, I thought so.

So now let's talk about people we hate. That always makes me feel better. If Jennifer happens to somehow win this thing her first priority should be BUYING SOME NEW HAIR!! Hello? Did anyone else notice that her hairline goes to the middle of her head?!?! Yikes-a-hootie! That'll scare the children! How does she expect to get votes if people are afraid of her? Eww!

Marque needs to seriously go back to the dancing and leave the singing to the talented kids. He's nice to look at, and he's a great dancer - that much you can get from his two second video blurb, but when he attempted to sing he was so mediocre it was frightening!

AND OH MY HELL NO!! NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!! What were they thinking bringing Erskine to Hollywood!?!?! GOOD HELL FOLKS! C'MON!! I can even say anything about this pile of shit!

Even though Ashley is cute, her creepy weird vibrato yuckiness has GOT to go! America, I hold you personally responsible if this P.O.S. gets through to the next round!

Jere's picks from round one, again, are: Diana, aka: 866-IDOLS-01, and Katie, aka: 866-IDOLS-04! C'mon America, see the light! Vote Diana and Katie into the top 10, or 12, or however many they're going to pick for this third season!!

GO KATIE & DIANA!!!! Love, Jere

Until next time...

Written by Jere at 8:53 p.m.